All Posts by Marcus Neo

About the Author

Enjoys writing about dating, relationship, business, and psychology. Introvert yet extrovert. Likes martial arts and music, but never got around to the latter.

Aug 09

Tinder Bio For Guys – Is a Funny Bio all it Takes?

By Marcus Neo | Dating Advice for Men

How do you craft a Tinder bio for men that gets high quality matches? The majority of attractive women have all the attention in their daily social lives. So exactly what makes you think you can magically match with them on Tinder?

Secondly, why would any attractive women bother with some stranger on Tinder when they’ve already got all the attention and potential partners chasing them in their social life? This is especially true if you are in a younger age range and your target demographic of girls is younger.

The economics of online dating is skewed: you have one quality woman being pursued by a larger than proportionate number of males. Think back to your schooling days, you get 80% of the male population admiring 20% of the population of women. It’s worst on Tinder.

This is why as a guy, you need to create a Tinder bio that stands out.

Hacking My Own Tinder Profile to Get High Quality Matches

The pandemic hit last year and I spent around 6 months really hacking my own profile, running paid tests, being a mad scientist and going out on tens of dates from online dating applications.

The jury is out: there IS a skillset behind crafting out great profiles. The majority of your Tinder results is going to come from a great Tinder profile.

Have a Tinder Profile that Stands Out, a Funny One is Not Enough

You’re up against a lot of competition all when you’re dealing with online dating applications. Think of the thousands of matches and thousands of likes an average woman gets on her online dating application, and think of the messages that she’s flooded with day in, day out on her applications.

This is why you NEED to have a Tinder profile that stands out.

These Tinder profile strategies help me and my clients land minimally one to two high quality dates a week. 

Now let’s on get to the strategies that will supercharge your results. 

Stand Out in Your Tinder Profile Photos by Investing in a Photo Shoot 

I’m not going to lie here, good looks and fashion matters almost more than anything on Tinder and online dating applications. You need to try to be as good looking as possible through your photos. 

However, if you aren’t super good looking, not to worry, your boy here isn’t. There are ways to get around it by be smart about your photos.

The first thing you need do is to have that mixture of high quality photos and casual photos. You don’t want to bombard your entire profile with all high quality photos. That’s because that would mean over optimising your profile and coming off as a try hard. 

  • Using Photo Feeler as a Test

I use Photofeeler as a pre test for my main photos before uploading my photos. If you aren’t getting at least above mediocre results on your Photofeeler results, then you might want to relook into your main photos.

  • Your First Two Photos [Main Photos]

I call this the main photos. It’s recommend to use a high quality camera for these photos. These photos should be focusing on you and NOT the background. You should be alone in the photo, and they should be taken from waist up.

I usually use a wait up photo for the first one, and the full body shot for the next one. You should also vary the clothes you are wearing: just to demonstrate you have clothes and didn’t take the two photos in one setting just for Tinder.

One good camera angle is the snapshot effect. These are photos taken ‘in the moment’ as if you’re not even planning to take that shot. The snapshot effect sets you apart from all the other guys.

Here’s a good example of the snapshot:

  • High Quality Photoshoot Photos

I’d say to use ONE high quality photo as your main photo on Tinder from a professional photo shoot.

Investing into a photo shoot is going to be a good idea because high quality photos can serve you for months and years to come.

One of the tricks is to have a profile photo that isn’t looking at a camera. It’s said that by not looking into the camera, you are perceived as more attractive.

  • Low Quality Casual Photos

Secondly, go to your social media profiles, download out photos that portray an interesting personality and story about yourself.

These are photos where you are doing something interesting: adventurous hobbies such as rock climbing or kayaking.

These photos should demonstrate masculine qualities and positive qualities about yourself. The key here is to have a mixture of high quality photos and casual photos so that your profile stands out without looking too hard.

  • Next Two to Three Photos

You do NOT need to fill up Tinder’s entire profile. It’s going to come off as try hard if you are using all the empty Tinder slots they give you. However, it’s recommend to put in another two or three photos of you:

  1. In a leadership role (if you are giving a talk or something, all the better)
  2. Doing adventurous activities with friends (ideally, you SHOULD be the focus of the photo)
  3. Just normal hang out photos with female and male friends to demonstrate that you are a normal dude (ideally, you SHOULD be the focus of the photo)
  4. Ideally, you should portray an identity and story about yourself through your photos.

Tinder Profile Photo Shoot Tips

There is a difference in professional photography and Tinder photography. You got to instruct your photographer to take photos that are crafted for Tinder

  • Focus on you, not the background

Tinder photo

One of my better performing photos

This isn’t the perfect example, however, as you can see, the photo is mostly focused on me, and not some fancy background.

  • Golden hour photo shot

It’s a cheesy shot but one of my better performing photos as well, notice the golden hour effect

This photo is completely focused on me. You can see the photographer also used natural light as an effect in this photo. However, I look cheesy as f here, forgive me.

  • How to get a sharper face figure

You can try arching and sticking your face out forward when you do the photoshoot. This gives the effect of having a sharper face figure. Like I mentioned, Tinder (and online dating really) is heavily reliant on looks. You got to try to be as good looking as possible.

Do and Do Nots of Photos in a Tinder Profile

There are certain DO NOT dos on your Tinder profile, and selfies are one.

  • Forget Selfies

Bad tinder bio

 

Yes, forget selfies. It demonstrates that you haven’t really got friends around you.

You should also include group photos your lifestyle and hobbies in your other photos. Note, this profile should be congruent to your lifestyle and hobbies. You should also ideally be the FOCUS of the group photos. You can’t be hiding at the side.

  • Group Photos that do NOT Focus on You

Yes, group photos are recommended. However, if you’re hiring behind the entire group. She’s not going to able to point you out in the photo. If you are using a group photo, then use a group photo that has YOU as the focus in the photo.

Stand Out in Your Profile Description

The second way to stand out is to through your profile description. Think about it. You are competing with thousands and hundreds of profile descriptions day in and day out. 

Hence you are required to put in some effort into crafting a story about yourself that stands out from the rest.

Factual information about yourself is boring: use quirky language: use language that stands out.

For example, I had a software engineer as a client. Instead of putting software engineer at blah blah, I helped him craft out an interest copy: “I help planes talk to each other”

Or, I used to say that I only super like the fat girls. The strategies mentioned be quite provocative, but that’s the point. It’s done to separate you from the thousands of guys that swipe right on her profile. It’s funny and provocative.

Lastly, you do not want to over optimize your profile copy and come off as too intellectual, too try hard or use too bombastic words.

Yes, keep it simple in general. UNLESS, you want to attract snobbish intellectual girls.

  • Creative Copywriting

I had a client who’s a software engineer at Singapore’s national airlines. Instead of writing the usual bio: ‘I am a software engineer that likes coding at Singapore airlines’. I helped him re-write his profile and came up with ‘I help planes talk to each other’.

It’s not only a unique profile description, but it also creates curiosity and intrigue. I mean, what the heck is getting planes to speak to each other

The Words on Your Profile: The Copywriting

I used to think that you got to write an essay for your Tinder profile. The truth is that the more you write, the more try hard it’s perceived. The key is to go with something simple, funny, cheeky in short sentences can demonstrate your passions, lifestyle and hobbies.

Here’s an example:

“Singaporean, fought in a ring once. Likes pancakes a lot, especially with Macdonald’s butter. Thought of starting a dog insurance business once. No, I’m not lying. Solo travelled once to 11 cities in Europe on a shoelace budget.”

It’s short, simple and creative.

The profile displays one interesting fact about myself, alongside with my hobbies and my interests. The word ‘pancakes’ is light hearted to take off all the pressure from all the serious talk. I also usually try to add in some cheeky provocative lines to provoke a reaction from a girl into swiping you:

  • “Please don’t be fat in real life… :P”
  • “Sometimes, I super like the stranger looking people.”

The strategy here is to set your Tinder bio apart from 90% of the men’s profile. You need to be cheeky without being perceived as an asshole or a player.

Note: if you’re living in an Asian culture you don’t want to come across too aggressive, it’s not going to work. It’s better to be the goof-ish and cheeky.

Steal my Tinder Profile Template

If you’re really dried out of ideas, you can steal some of my profile ideas:

Not your typical Singaporean accountant, engineer, lawyer, doctor or insert *profession*… you may want to pick someone your mother may approve of.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

MY WEAKNESSES: Smiles, smarts and sass

Simply remove ‘Singaporean’ and include your nationality in it.

The Do Nots of a Tinder Profile Description

  • Lengthy Essays

There is absolutely no need to publish an essay on your description. If it is over lengthy, it’s going to come off as too hard.

Secondly, do not use big intellectual bombastic words unless you wish to attract a certain type of girl. There’s no need to be overly witty in your profile. Keep your profile description simple.

  • Bland and Vanilla Tinder Descriptions

Finally, do not be BLAND and VANILLA.

Look, every other guy is going to write something along the lines of ‘financial motivated’ or the usual hobbies that guys do. Simply ask yourself, how does your profile stand out from the 99% of other profiles? I mean, girls are also committing this crime. Notice every other girl on their profile writes that they want someone that is kind, intellectual and patient? Yes, do NOT be that guy that writes similarly.

The Limitations of a Tinder Bio

Crafting a great Tinder bio is a MUST if you wish for better quality matches matches.

There is indeed a limitation to a Tinder Bio and profile. She can’t see, touch or feel emotions when she is staring into a phone screen. Hence, you are limited by photos and words. The ugly truth is that the better looking you are in real life, the better photos you are going to get, the better matches you are going to receive.

Secondly, other than great strong profile photos and strong profile descriptions, you’ll also require strong outreach messages and texts. 

Conclusion

The Tinder profile strategies mentioned here can be quite provocative. HOWEVER, that’s the entire point. It’s done to separate you from the THOUSANDS of guys that swipe right on her profile.

When I started off, I focused a lot more on meeting women through social circles and cold approaching. I preferred that approach because I was just too lazy to be texting and swiping all day.

I also felt that people who are hell-bent on relying on merely Tinder and online dating applications may be avoiding the need to better their dating/ social skills. It easy to sit back and send witty messages from your phone, it’s much harder to put yourself in a date and strike up a conversation with a stranger.

Tinder and online dating apps should not be an entire replacement for improving your dating/ social skills. However, in a post pandemic world, everyone needs to adapt and it is a powerful supplement.

Jul 07

How to Flirt with a Girl to Make Her Just Want More +Lines

By Marcus Neo | Dating Advice for Men

Flirting with a girl is simply the art of bringing an interaction or a conversation with her forward in a romantic manner without being awkward or creepy. If you can’t flirt, you’re going to bore her to hell, she loses interest and you end up on dates that lead right straight into the friend zone.

Unfortunate being a male… it is on you to lead the interaction and not wait for her to initiate.

In certain cultures, sex, emotions and relationships are hardly discussed around the dinner table when growing up. If you’re an Asian, these topics aren’t least bit openly discussed or addressed. It’s no surprise that most men feel awkward flirting and communicating in a sexual manner to the opposite sex.

However, to successful date women, you MUST learn how to flirt with a girl.

How to Flirt with a Girl without Being Creepy

The majority of dating advice (arguably, pick up artist strategies) is dependent on trying one’s best not to get rejected and adjusting our behaviours according to hers.

I’d like to redefine the metric of success: it should not be about being rejected, but if you ‘played to win’. This means being able to push your interactions in a romantic/ sexual manner.

In my experience, the more her personality leans towards the feminine end, the more you are going to be required to lead in the interaction. She’s not going to initiate for you.

To lead in any male to female interaction in a charismatic manner, it’s all about learning how to flirt. In general there are two ways of flirting. There is a direct manner of flirting, and an indirect manner of flirting.

The Guide to Flirting: Direct Flirting

There’s really no magic behind direct flirting. The definition of direct flirting means expressing your affection and romantic intent for her in a direct manner.

This is done usually by making statements and physical expressions:

  • Light social touching to see how well she responses on a date
  • Trying to hold her hand on a date
  • Trying to be more intimate in her physical space on a date
  • Making romantic statements like “I find you attractive” or “you’re beautiful”

The art of direct flirting consists of simply pulling the trigger, facing the the impending success, disappointment or rejection. If you’re going to be rejected, so be it… at least you failed through playing to win.

The downsides of expressing your interest directly is that women might not be ready for it and she haven’t invested enough in the interaction. You’re also putting all your eggs on the table by taking a direct risk. Imagine going up to an attractive girl, telling her she’s beautiful, sexy and that you’ll do anything to date her… she’s going to be bored outright. Girls like you to be able to flirt. They enjoy the to and fro, flirting process a lot more than us guys.

Secondly, being able to flirt charismatically in a witty manner makes you stand out from every other guy out there… and… this brings me to indirect flirting.

The Guide to Flirting: Indirect Flirting

The framework for indirect flirting is inspire from the push pull method from the pick up artist community. It’s the art of demonstrating interest verbally and disinterest non verbally or vice versa.

Imagine being physically intimately close to a girl on a date and then telling her she’s going to be so bad for you. That’s demonstrating disinterest verbally but interest verbally.

The art of indirect flirting can be further simplified to teasing her and then telling her that you’re joking and giving her a hug saying she’s awesome.

“That’s so childish, Jane” + “I’m joking, you’re pretty adorable when you do childish things like that” + hug.

OR

You’re pulling her in for a kiss… your lips are almost touching… then you pause and say: “omg I can’t trust you just yet. I need more time between you and I.”

That’s the art of building sexual tension and making her chase a little.

The dynamic of indirect flirting creates a I love you, I hate you sort of to and fro that makes your interactions dynamic with chemistry and sparks. To flirting indirectly effectively in a charismatic manner, you need study improv, comedians and deliver your teases, pullbacks and statements with the right vocal inflection and tonality.

There are advantages and disadvantages to flirting indirectly. I made the mistake of relying on this strategy for years and came off as someone that’s insecure of directly expression affection and interest to a girl. She’s going to find you too ‘gamey’ and lose interest in you.

The key here is to mix flirting with other conversation skillsets such as connecting with her on a deeper level.

How to Flirt without being Awkward: Look for Positive Signals

There was once I was out with a friend last night at a bar in the city. Three girls sat beside him and I opened and got to know them. I initially thought I had the entire night to spill my game. Until one friend signalled to the group that she was tired and wanted to go home. There are no moral victories in the game of dating. If her friend desire to go home, the rest may follow suit.

One hour into the interaction, I had positive results with the girl I was interested in, I could tell:

  • She’s slightly chasing
  • She’s laughing

If she’s giving you positive signals, then you can increase your intensity of flirting. Yes, you can flirt with a girl indirectly by not showing interest directly and make her chase a little.

However, in some cases, you may over do it. In this case, I didn’t get to the point and I played it too cool. She’s obviously attracted. Instead of making a connection I pushed and teased too much. I wanted her to invest and to chase more. I also took quite a depersonalized approach to the interaction. I didn’t truly get to know her as a genuine person. 

It got to the point that I was trying way too hard and there wasn’t any genuine connection between us. Needless to say, I went home empty handed.

If a girl is attracted and is giving you positive signals, don’t over step your mark and make her chase too much. It’s okay to demonstrate interest and flirt directly. It’s also okay to ‘be a little needy’ to demonstrate that you’re sincere about dating her and ensuring your interaction moves forward.

For example, if you had an amazing interaction with a girl you met at the club and if she decides to go to the bathroom in the club, you can follow her despite it looking ‘needy’. It’s much better than losing the entire interaction. 

Taking that social risk and and trying to get her back to yours is much better than playing it cool and losing an interaction completely. 

How To Flirt in a Sexual Manner

Every modern dating problem starts off with the proposition that women are the gate keepers of sex and men are the gate keepers of commitment. Modern culture tends to equate love with sex, and sex with commitment and passion with unconditional love. Henceforth the burn question on millions of millions of men’s minds… how to get a girl to come over to yours?

Is there a way to flirt sexually in comfortable manner for her?

First off, you can only flirt in a sexually with women that are already giving you positive signals. She HAS to be interested.

Whilst traveling through Europe, I found myself in multiple situations where I could have gotten a girl to come back to mine if I settled for second best.

However, I got greedy and only desired the most attractive girl on that particular night out. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t giving me positive signals. It didn’t matter if she said she had a boyfriend. I told myself: “I’m not settling for anything less” and continued to flirt with a girl that wasn’t showing me any interest.

If there are many options starting in a particular night out… it is okay to be greedy. However, towards the end of the night, you want to be smart and focus on the interactions where there is an expected return. If a girl who isn’t the most attractive in the venue is interested in you and it is nearing the end of the night. You should go for her instead of gunning for the ones that aren’t showing an expected return.

The art of flirting sexually is a no brainer one. Once you have broken the physical boundary between you and her, the rest usually is quite easy:

  • Holding hands
  • Holding her by the waist
  • Frontal hugging
  • Light kisses
  • Heavy make outs
  • Heavy patting

The key concept here is to not over do it and always pull back a little. You can always make statements like “you’re so sexy and you’re bad news for me” or pulling back when there’s too much sexual tension. This means being the first one to stop kissing, the first one to let go of the hug.

See, the art of flirting is simply push, pulling and building sexual tension and desire in her.

This takes on the same principle of pushing pulling and making her chase more.

Conclusion

The art of flirting is a skillset that you can get good at over time. This is usually accompanied by other skillsets such as learning how to talk to girls, being good at improv, approach girls and daring to push your interactions with attractive women.

Flirting isn’t a cure all for your dating woes, and you might end up relying too much on indirect flirting strategies. Some times it’s better to simply express your affection/ sexual intent for her directly, grab her by the hands/ waist and let the chips fall on the table. Other times flirting can help a girl warm up to you, find you charismatic, emotionally intelligent and able to understand social cues.

In all, flirting well is a skillset to get down in your dating life.

Jun 16

Engineer Gets a Girlfriend and Becomes Sexual Sexually Confidence – JT

By Marcus Neo | Case Studies

JT Second Testimonial:


JT First Testimonial:


Transcript For First Testimonial:

JT:                   Hi. I’m JT. I’m a Malaysian working in Singapore as a software engineer. For me myself, I was a really shy guy. I am really afraid of getting rejected by girls. I realized I had this problem that’s why I went to seek [Marcus’ 00:00:18] help.

I call him up and I find that he is really professional and at the same time he’s really kind. He really understand my situation. What he did was we met up together and then he literally forced us to go talk to girls so that the process is not actually…

The main goal is not actually get the girl’s number or to get her to bed or whatever but it’s actually to overcome the fear of rejection. Once we get that in, I finally see some things out. Right now, even though I got rejected by girls many times, I don’t feel the sting of being rejected anymore.

In fact, I even got to met a few good friends through his techniques and at the same time, I have some romantic encounters as well. Besides doing the game like talking to girls on the street, we also tried to tackle the online dating scene.

What Marcus did was he updated my online profile, updated my display picture, getting tips on fashion as well. From that I got immediate result. Immediate matches. He also taught me how to talk with girls and create the connection and bring her out to date.

Beside this, Marcus talk about the psychology and that in every conversation is.. In order to promote trust in a conversation and how to make things more sexy. If you find out that you have an area that you need improvement, don’t hesitate to find professional help. Marcus, I can say he is a professional.

Speaker 2:        Yeah. Good morning, everyone. To JT. How’s everything, JT?

JT:                    Yeah. Tomorrow, I have one. Friday, I’ll go another one. I think next week we will have another one as well during the weekdays.

Speaker 2:        Okay.

JT:                    I think there is two girls that are really interested in me.

Speaker 2:        Okay. Awesome.

JT:                    Yeah.

Speaker 2:        Good. Having results in a short period of time.

JT:                    I want to just say thank you because I haven’t had this much fun. Yeah. Know what I mean? Before this I’m worried about what people would think about me or what texting right now. I just having fun doing the text.

JT Results:

Jun 15

CEO Gets a Girlfriend in 90 Days – Yao Jun

By Marcus Neo | Case Studies

Transcript:

Marcus Neo:     This is Yao Jun, right? And…

Yao Jun:            Yep.

Marcus Neo:     He joined me like two months ago. Two months, right? Was it two months?

Yao Jun:            Yep. Around there.

Marcus Neo:     You probably only had two sessions with me, right? So the first session we actually did a photo shoot and in our second session, we went out and do approaches, right?

Yao Jun:            Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yep.

Marcus Neo:     So maybe before we get into the details, maybe you can talk a little bit about yourself. Like your background, what do you do for a living?

Yao Jun:            Okay. So previously I was a consultant, lecturer, and a researcher, and now I run my own [inaudible 00:00:42]. Yeah. So the reason why I approached Marcus was because I had low self-esteem and I felt that I couldn’t communicate with the opposite sex. I have intentions of getting a girlfriend, but I am not so assertive or confident when it comes to dealing with women. So that’s why I reached out to Marcus and I took on his program. Yeah.

Marcus Neo:     Yep. And I mean, you’re actually quite an outlier as well, right? So for those guys who don’t know, you’re between 23-24 years old, you are running your own software company. So basically [crosstalk 00:01:22] you’re the CEO of a software company, very young age. And then you are also someone who actually excelled academically during your teens, right?

Yao Jun:            Yep.

Marcus Neo:     Like someone who just really focused on your grades and schoolwork and just very career-focused as well, right? Maybe you can tell me a little bit more about that.

Yao Jun:            When I was 15, I got a scholarship to Singapore. So that’s why I’m here today. I was from Malaysia, [inaudible 00:01:49]. And I studied in NUS high school there. We really just focused about studies. And of course I do have interest in the opposite sex, but it was that our school was so small and there were a lot of guys towards girls, the guy to girl ratio.

So that’s why it didn’t blossom for an opportunity where I realized that for learning all of these grounds, right, social situations and how to act guy-to-girl, right? All of these things happen in their teens, right. Where people, in their JC, their junior college years, or even some in secondary school. But I was not afforded that opportunity. And afterwards I came to realize that, oh, shit I sunk in too much time in my career. And it’s time to play catch up on all of these things. Yeah.

Marcus Neo:     Okay. So, you joined me as a live client. All my live clients have access to my online program as well, this is how we just do it here. I teach implementable steps in the live program and then the theory is covered by the online program. So can you tell me a bit about your experience of the live program? So far we’ve only had two sessions, right. And then the online program as well.

Yao Jun:            Mm-hmm (affirmative). So first thing is- should I start from live? Or just talk about [crosstalk 00:03:07] program.

Marcus Neo:     Yeah.

Yao Jun:            So the live program couples on with the online program, right? Because, in order for things to scale, you really need your profiles to be up, your photos to be good, and then you need to start learning texting. So, a huge portion of that is covered in the online program. But with that being said, it’s also important to know how to frame an interaction and go in and close. Go on dates and close it with girls. So which is why Marcus incorporates that into his program as well, the live portion of it.

So for our first program- sorry, not first program, first session. All Right. Marcus helped me do some photo shoots, took photos of myself and instructed me with his online courses, well-guided by him on what kind of photos to put, what things to say to a girl from her perspective, framing of her perspective. And not corny lines or memorized lines, but lines that are suited to the individual different style of the guy.

So that was that meaningful at first. Right, and for our first session, you also taught me some core approach techniques and tricks and tips reaching out to a girl and asking for time and direction, reaching out to a girl to speak to her. Yeah. So that was pretty much that for the first session. For our second session, it was more towards a higher-level of things where I approached the girl, called approach. And then I spoke to the girl to understand her better and to sort of frame the interaction so that she would give me her phone number. Yeah.

Marcus Neo:     Let’s talk about some measurable results you got after you joined the program. So firstly, let’s talk about, I mean, from what I heard from you, you haven’t done up your online dating profiles or anything and I’m chasing you on your [inaudible 00:05:07] everything. But I believe you have seen a measurable improvement in online dating by using online dating applications. And maybe you can talk a little bit about that.

Yao Jun:            Mm-hmm (affirmative). To be fair, it’s not that my profile is not up or anything, but I am picky. I have my issues. Right. But it’s not that Marcus program is not good, but to be fair, right. It’s [inaudible 00:05:33]. So when Marcus talks about the components of… Wait sorry, I lost my train of thought. All right.

So as I was saying, right, Marcus’ program helped me to be more confident to speak to girls from the level of texting, seeing her as equals and not a girl that is a prize. I need to work hard to get to the prize. So that’s one perspective that I gained. And instead of framing my interactions as that, it’s more of an equal-setting kind of thing. And I do have more needs from online because many girls are looking to date online, and especially because of COVID, that people are not as willing to go out with a stranger to have dates because lack of trust and to COVID. So, yeah. So right now it seems to me like the best way to go about this is to scale on online dating rather than in person at the moment. Yeah

Marcus Neo:     Okay. So the second part of it would be approaching complete strangers, right? So let me dive into a session I had with you. And this was actually the first session that we actually have for this skill set, which is going up to complete strangers. So one thing is, you would agree with me that the girls that we talked to, they are the top 20th percentile in terms of physical attractiveness, right? We’re not just approaching anyone. Yeah. I mean, not to be misogynistic here, but if we were all honest to ourselves, guys like attractive women, right? So…

Yao Jun:            I can say that my interactions with women have been better, that I can at least talk about sexual jokes with women, and also to speak to her in an equal way instead of looking at her because she’s pretty she’s a prize and therefore I have to submit to her. Right.

So there is what’s so helpful in my daily interactions. And also it gives me the confidence as a guy to if, need it be right in the future when I go out to bars or anything, to just walk up to girl and say, “Hi, I find you charming” or something like that, you know? So I do feel that as a guy, it’s this sense of anchoredness that you feel that, “I’m a guy and I have confidence.” And this confidence lasts you into many aspects of your workplace, your personal life, as well as your career. So for me, I also do feel more centered at work. So it is that confidence then. Yeah.

Marcus Neo:     So let me elaborate more about the first session that we had, right? So this is just two hours into the program for the live approaches, right? So within two hours you are able, right, to go up to multiple and multiple- and when I mean multiple it means above 10, 20 women who are, in terms of physical attractiveness, at top 20th percentile. Go up. Not get slapped, right, not get slapped in the face, and strike a friendly conversation. And you were even able to get, I think, one or two numbers, right?

Yao Jun:            Yeah.

Marcus Neo:     So will you elaborate a little bit more about that experience?

Yao Jun:            I would say, not going to lie, okay? When I do it, my heart is pumping and I’m like, “Oh boy, this is some weird ass random situation.” But I told myself, if I want to get the numbers, I have to do it right. Because it’s something that you have to do it, you have to work for it, right.

So the first time, actually I mean the first exact moment I walk up to a girl, I feel a little scared. And I started by… I walked and talked along with her. I can’t remember what exactly I asked her, but it was something along the lines of “Where do you work? Where are you going?” And things like that. And we had a casual-ish conversation.

And that also helped me to anchor that, in all strangers in terms of pretty girls, are not the kind of very distant or very like people that you just cannot approach. Right. But they’re all like us. Like you and me, all the guys, right? That they’re also looking for a partner and things kind of end in common ground. So yeah, I do feel more solid and centered after that. After that, it’s more of a “Oh, I just approach it. I don’t think about it. I just do it because if I were to think about it, I’m going to feel scared. So I just won’t give up.”

Marcus Neo:     Does it surprise you that it was actually extremely doable with the framework that I’ve given you, right. And it’s a very simple framework and most people will just over-complicate and confuse it.

Yao Jun:            Yeah. Yeah. Because I think the over-complication part is where you feel like you don’t have enough information and then you feel like you’re not going to do it because you’re scared. I think these are the main two problems that, when you have a course without a direct end-to-end support. I would say end-to-end support in the sense that your course covers start to end, right? From complete beginners to advanced stuff.

But I would say it’s also more of a [inaudible 00:10:38] kind of thing, because these are things that you need to occasionally and quite often revisit, right? When you feel in a certain area, you revisit the content to anchor your confidence and to anchor your understanding of things. Because it’s easy to think about it from a logical sense, but when you’re emotional and you are acting on impulse, you perform so-called “less than stellar.” Yeah.

Marcus Neo:     Okay. So let me ask you, why do you choose to work with me over tens of other programs out there in the world? Why did you choose marcusneo.com?

Yao Jun:            I would say that’s a very good question. I actually haven’t thought that much, but I feel that it’s because, okay, what I can say is that when I had spoken to you, I did not think that much in terms of comparing, but I would say that from a business-touch point of view, right? You have been there done that. One. So you have a lot of experience. And two, it’s not that you’re giving me theoretical advice, but you are going along with me for the ride. Maybe in terms of life coaching, right? And thirdly, is that the course you speak, the way you present the content and the course, right. It’s in a very straightforward manner. It’s not full of jargon. It’s not full of, oh, you have to think this so that you’re doing it right. No, you focus on the, do this, do X next, do Y, do Z. That kind of thing.

So yeah. So the emphasis is more on a short script, just go into it. That’s all. And you get results. Less off the theory, the asking you to read a long article, you know?. So just do it. I think that is the essence of the thing. It’s like any other skill that if you want to learn about it and you want to do it, just go and do it. Don’t think about it just, do it. Yeah. They want Nike that’s [inaudible 00:12:34] on their shoes. Right. So, yeah.

Marcus Neo:     Okay, okay. Thank you for the compliments, because I pride myself on making my program as complex-free as possible. So let me ask you this question, right. Will you say that you would have joined my program maybe like three years earlier? A similar program, like this and not wait up, I don’t know what you’re like 23, 24 right now. And that would have benefited you more, right?

Yao Jun:            Yes. Okay. I will not say that because back in my career, okay. Previously I was still hung up with my career. Although I do agree that university is the perfect hunting ground, the perfect place to meet women and all that. But right now I’m gearing my lifestyle such that I have a lot more time than the average person. So I will sink in that extra time into this thing. And because I feel for me, my perspective is that dating is like any other skill. That it can be learned, and it doesn’t require you to be a genius. It’s not rocket science. Right. So as soon as you put the heart and the mind to it, you will [inaudible 00:13:46], you can do it [inaudible 00:13:48]. Yeah.

Marcus Neo:     Okay. Right, so because now I’m kind of extending to an international audience right. So we have people from America, potentially watching this. I’d like to ask you this question. Do you think that the same principles and concepts that I have presented in the program, if you were to move into another country in another culture, will you be able to replicate the results with the same principles?

Yao Jun:            I would say it’s even much easier. It’s not just getting results, but I think in terms of in a Western country, I think it would be much easier because people there are more direct. They are more approachable and there’s not a social norm to say, you have to act this and you have to act that. You have to act like a good girl or a good guy. There just isn’t so much of that in the West and in Europe as well.

So I would say that it’s amazing. Even in Singapore where it’s arguably a hard place to get girls. And if even I can get them, I don’t think it should be a problem for Westerners. I’m Asian, come on, Asian guys are stacked. We are stacked against white guys we are stacked against black guys. Come on, come on. Right. So I don’t believe that to be an excuse though.

Marcus Neo:     Okay. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Okay. So lastly, before we end off, we might have some people viewing this and they are thinking, they’re actually on the fence of actually joining a program. Whether it be our online programs or our live programs, and what would you tell these people who are on the fence?

Yao Jun:            Just do it. Just join. You’re not going to regret that because you follow a simple script. You just do it. You want results, you do it. And don’t be the kind of person that, “Oh, I’m going to buy a fancy $2K program and just sit at home, waiting for results to fall from the sky.” You need to be out there. You need to be doing it. You need to change your fashion. You need to improve a lot of various things, your habits and things like that.

But if you do all of those things, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you will have results. That’s why Marcus is still today helping me for me to get a perfect set of photos, right. So that’s what I’m still working on. But otherwise I can say that from a perspective of inner-confidence for the guy, it helps a lot. Right? Because fundamentally, guys are meant to meet girls and they would rather do that than hide away. But most people think that’s an excuse and hide themselves away. So I feel that’s a waste. Yeah.

Yao Jun Updated Testimonial

 

 

Jun 15

Introverted Indian Engineer Gets Full Close in 90 Days – Harsh

By Marcus Neo | Case Studies

Transcript:

Speaker 1:        He showed made the changes I should make. He gave me some minor tweaks, which I could do. So I tried that, and after that, I was able to get five to six matches a week and I was able to convert that five or six matches a week into dates. It has improved in that way, but after I was able to converse, I was still not able to move ahead of the second date, of the first date. He showed me some personality changes, which I should do. The alpha male qualities, which he asked me to put them. So that helped me in converting the dates into something even more [crosstalk 00:00:44] intimate interaction. Yes. [Inaudible 00:00:47] has helped me in a way to open up. I’m always kind of introverted person, so it’s better for me to talk to people in general and approaching on the field, it’s too difficult.

So with his online coaching and also his infield sessions, it has helped me to open up a bit. I’m still not that good at it, but I’ve seen the improvements. I’ve seen the changes. At least I’m able to approach people now. I think if I can do it, anyone can do it. Because [crosstalk 00:01:25] I was kind of a person.

Speaker 2:        We’ve got to talk about this man. You’re currently residing in Singapore, right?

Speaker 1:        Yeah.

Speaker 2:        You’re not even a Singapore citizen.

Speaker 1:        Yes.

Speaker 2:        [crosstalk 00:01:34] Number two, a minority based in Singapore.

Speaker 1:        Yes.

Speaker 2:        [crosstalk 00:01:37] And the women that you dated were the majority racist. [crosstalk 00:01:45] Yeah.

Speaker 1:        I always used to think that it’s about you, it’s your mistake and everything like that. He taught me in a way that it’s always about the confidence you project on people. To be honest, Singapore is already a difficult market. If I can get results from this particular market, then I’m pretty sure with his style of coaching, you can get results in any other market.

I would say Singapore’s one of the most toughest, but if you can bring out results in that, even in online dating, then I’m pretty sure you are foolproof. So you can just go to any other country and just try the same approaching style. I think Singapore people in general, they are bit conservative. So if you can open them up, then you can open any other race anywhere in the world. In a way, yes, his way of teaching, it’s a bit different. Also, he doesn’t push you to become a arrogant or rude kind of person. He always says that even nice guys can do it. It’s just, you need to have just a bit of spice in your [crosstalk 00:03:10] spark and spice in your nice behavior. To be honest, there’s nothing wrong being a nice guy. It’s just, you need to know how to work around it and use it for your advantage rather than using it as a disadvantage. [crosstalk 00:03:27]

Speaker 2:        Close this off. For the guys watching this and thinking of hopping on and joining in, what would you say? For those guys on the fence.

Speaker 1:        I would say just go for it. If you’re actually looking for having a quality dating life, then I would say just give this a try because it actually helps and it’s not just about continuing the whole thing with him. I would say even one, whatever the whole process, if you just subscribe to that, it would help you for your lifelong. He gives you these lifelong tips, which help you change your personality. It’s nothing superficial, he helps you change your inner game. Which is really helpful in everything, not just dating life, it’s also been helpful and your social life.

Couples holding hand on a date
Mar 18

How to Date a Girl – Even if It’s Your First Time

By Marcus Neo | Dating Advice for Men

Ever wondered how to date a girl? Yes, dates with women can be confusing. Some people opt for fanciful dinners, others keep it light. Then there are the other questions ranging from how do you get to know her on a date? How can you get to know her on dates? Can first dates with a girl lead to sex?

In my experience, as a general principle, as a male, you need to be a leader in your dates. You need to be one leading in conversation, logistically, changing venues, physically and emotionally.

How well you connect with her woman on a is going to be dependent on your conversation skills and ability to connect with her.

How to Date a Girl – The Ultimate Date Guide

  • Fancy First Date Idea? No, Stick to Coffee 

In general, I only plan for low cost and investment first dates.

This usually means coffee at Starbucks or a cafe. If you’re a creep, she’s free to excuse herself since it’s a public area. If she doesn’t turn out like who she is on her online dating profile, your investment is a mere coffee. Or if you’re a creep, you are both free to excuse yourselves.

  • Pick a Central Location

Psychological research also shows that people value things more when they get they invest personal time, money and effort.

When picking a location, there’s no need to get fancy with crazy date ideas. For first dates, you should choose a neutral location between your place and hers. This way, she’ll be investing time and effort to travel to meet you. I almost never ever drive to pick anyone up for a first date.

However, you’ll soon figure out that even time and money aren’t extremely powerful forms of investment at all.

It’s the emotional investment that count.

  • Time: Evenings

You should ideally plan dates in the evening to generate more expectation.

  • Set the Tone

The first date is is going to set the tone of your relationship with her. If she’s attracted to you and you don’t act upon it, she is going to lose that attraction fast.

Oh yes, do note that a date out with her friends is NOT a date. 

  • Create Opportunities for Physical Intimacy 

In general, try to create opportunities for physical intimacy on the first date. This means, forget movie and dinner dates.

They are too un-interactive and don’t introduce any physical intimacy: in the movie theatre, you’re are sitting beside her, silent and facing forward. That’s not a good idea to get to know each other.

If you’re at a restaurant, depending on your smart you are with your sitting position, you might end up sitting across her and facing her like you’re going in for an interview. That’s not good.

You want to try to introduce touch during the first date. The problem with fancy dinners dates is that they’re also costly. Not to mention it’s really boring to just sit across someone and converse for the entire date.

On a date

Here’s a Common First Date plan U use:

  • Meet her midway for coffee at Starbucks
  • I bounce to another cafe for another coffee, dinner or drinks (assuming she and I get a long)
  • Some times I add in something casual: walk in the parks, walks by the beach, visiting the bookstore or get her to join you in one of your hobbies

Note: These days, I don’t really plan out anything special for first dates. If you are generating enough leads through approaching women or online dating apps, then you want your first date to me more of a screening process.

There are going to be first dates that don’t go to anywhere. Hence, there’s no need to come up with fanciful ideas. I like the idea of going to a cafe and then straight to drinks. If you want to plan out more special dates, then make sure both of you really like each other and get a long. Then only you plan something out on the second or third date.

How to Plan Out Future Dates

In general, you are not actually going spend 4-5 hours in ONE venue on a date. You’re going to have to plan for at least three activities that isn’t too high of an investment for both of you. Ideally, start your date at around 6pm. You want to be peaking together at around 10 pm or 11 pm. The key is to give her the “I need to go home, but I don’t want to yet” feeling.

The Heavy Dinner Date? Yes or No?

I’m not saying 100% no to dinner dates. The majority of my coffee dates end up with dinner. That’s after if both of us get along well. Contrary to popular belief, women do not like heavily planned romantic and expensive dinners for first dates. (Read: gold diggers are an exception)

However, I’m stating a hard NO to romantic, expensive, high expectations kind of dinner first dates dates: the ones where you roll up in your Dad’s Mercedes Benz to some fancy restaurant. (read: the ones that you pretend to understand the menu.)

Lastly, you want your dates to be efficient: not all dates are going to lead to sex. You’re not going to enjoy every single date and not every girl is going to be into you. If you’re not attracted to her or she’s not showing any interest in you, feel free to walk off and end the date right there and then. Other than strong not wasting your time, it’s also a demonstration of strong boundaries.

Note: These days, I don’t really plan out anything special for first dates. If you are generating enough leads through cold approaching or online dating apps, then you want your first date to me more of a screening process. There are going to be first dates that don’t go to anywhere. Hence, there’s no need to come up with fanciful ideas. I like the idea of going to a cafe and then straight to drinks. If you want to plan out more special dates, then make sure both of you really like each other and get a long. Then only you plan something out on the second or third date.

How to Plan out a Great Date

I generally do this for women I am seeing on a regularly basis. This depends on her personality. The hippies will prefer cafes, stand up comedy and music events. The more adventurous and sporty ones are going to prefer the outdoors. The shopaholics will prefer, erhem… the shopping malls. 

Planning out dates based on her or your interests is also a good opportunity to expand your identity and your interests.

  • Interested in singing? Invite her to your weekly karaoke session.
  • Interested in martial arts? Get her to sign up for a trial class at your gym.

The Multiple Location Strategy

Ideally, on most dates, you want to take her to different date location. Psychological research suggests that if you’re the only constant among all these changing places, she’ll feel that she ‘got to know you more’. However, you can’t be bouncing around aimlessly, you need to progress your date to a location where increased intimacy can occur. This requires you to be spontaneous and armed with knowledge about your city

So Who Pays on the Dates?

In my experience, I’ve been on dates with women who were earning higher income than me. In Singapore, the males generally start drawing an income later compared to women as they’ve got two compulsory years of national service in the military.

In general, most of the women I’ve been on dates with don’t mind going dutch. However, Mark Manson suggested in his book Models that there’s an intrinsic sense of chivalry that women enjoy that makes them feel feminine when you pay for them on dates. He also argued that one of the primary psychological need in women is security: paying for them lends itself to that.

Here’s how I normally do it: I make it a team effort. I’ll often pay first and then tell her to buy something else in return later. You can get her to make it a team activity and get her to pay for something cheaper such as dessert or drinks after. There’s no need to be uptight and stingy if you’re making an income. If you’re earning an income much higher than her, it would make sense for you to pay for her.

The key is not to make the paying part too awkward. 

How to Touch Her on the First Date

Ideally, you should be trying to flirt with her physically right from the get go on your dates. You should be teasing her in your conversations and punctuating your sentences with slight touches. 

If you grew up in a traditional Asian culture, you are probably told to be polite, be nice and not to be pushy with women. Let alone on first dates. I’m going to differ. It’s pointless to approach hundreds of girls, do all the work texting her but being unable to make a move on the date itself.

It’s also good strategy to walk, talk, poke fun at her when she says something cute (or retarded). Pro tip: when you’re walking beside each other on dates, you can punctuate your conversations with physical touches on or shoulder or elbows.

Note: it’s always on YOU to initiate touch as early as the first date. In modern culture, women are perceived in a negative light if they initiate on romantic/ sexual advances. That’s because by initiating interest, she’ll be judged by society as a… ‘slut’. This is why women mostly will never initiate. Even if she really wants to. 

Candle lights

If both of you are comfortable with physical intimacy on your date, it’s a positive sign. You’ll want to take your date to somewhere more private. I recommend bars and cafes that are along beaches. I personally think evening beach dates are great for intimacy and privacy. It can be playgrounds or small parks. You can simply say you know an awesome bar near yours, grab her hand and lead her there.

The key is to lead, lead and always lead. 

There are going to be a percentage of women who aren’t comfortable with physical intimacy on the first couple of dates. There are going to be women who aren’t comfortable with physical intimacy at all. However, like I always say: lead, take a step back and apologize if she’s uncomfortable.

If you plan a date at a cafe or a coffeeshop, choose a seat that plants you beside her instead of in front of her. Either that, just stand up, and plant yourself beside her. It might seem awkward, however, I’ve done that it a couple of times and if she’s attracted to you, she won’t reject you. 

The ability to be physically intimate with women is going to differentiate your dating results by a mile.

How to Get Her to Yours on Dates

If you are physically intimate with a woman towards the end of a date then good… now you need an excuse to get her to your place. There’s no need for any fancy excuse. I used to ask women to get in my car and drive to mine without saying anything. These days, I simply say: “let’s chill at mine.”

The point is to make sure you are “not making her feel like a slut”. Take the societal pressure off her, but keep the sexual tension high. I’ll tell her not to mess up my room. I’ll tell a woman if she stays over she’s sleeping on the floor and you’re the one who’s sleeping on the bed. Saying stuff like that can take the pressure off her.

When you’re finally back at yours… get her to feel comfortable. You can play card games and keep the situation light-hearted and playful. Treat her like a little sister that you never had. Then, you can slowly be physically intimate with her. If she resist against your advances… take a step back and empathise.

My personal belief is that if you come from a standpoint of empathy, you can be that empathetic and sexually attractive male that she’ll break all rules for you. 

Usually after you start kissing and there’s a bedroom nearby… the rest is usually history. In my experience, you can get sexually intimate on first dates. However, the majority of them are simply going to happen on the second to fourth time you meet her. It all depends on the comfort level and her values on sex.

Lastly, do note that if you’re not at final base by the fourth or fifth date, she’s either not comfortable with casual sex or she’s just not interested in you.

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